Are you constantly annoyed by unstoppable scams or spam calls, robocalls, or telemarketing calls? Don’t get annoyed first of first. There’s a funny solution to them, actually. You can use some funny voicemail messages to prank them. Below are some funny voicemail templates you can directly use to fight against them right away.
Annoy the Telemarketer with Murmuring
Thank you for your call. This is an automated telephone answering machine message. The person you are trying to reach is not here at the sound of the beeping tone please speak clearly and leave your message. The person you are calling will get back to you as soon as the tone begins and then you will be free to record the other telephone message you care to record on telephone leave your name number measurements and body fat index so that the person you are calling can correctly ascertain your identity at the end of your message press 147205 and then hit the pound sign then star 321-7806. Prepare your sales for the tone which is about to begin presently. Once you have recorded your message. You may hang up the phone the beeping message tone will now sound immediately prepare to leave you a message in 10 987654321. Hello.
Funny: ⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
COVID-19 and Monkeypox Error
Due to the COVID-19 and monkey box outbreak. Your call cannot be connected. Please hang up and try your call again later. This message was issued by the White House of the United States of America. Hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello-hello.
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
COVID19 Social Distancing Error
We’re sorry, but due to covid 19 social distancing requirements, your call cannot be completed at this time. Please hang up, wash your hands for at least 20 seconds, step back 6 feet, wear a face mask, and try your call again later.
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Annoy the Caller
Hello? … Yea … Uh huh … Yea … No, you stop yelling at me … Oh, you’re yelling alright … you know what, I’m hanging up … yes, I am … (Beep)
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Avoid You
Hello, if you’re hearing this, that means I’m probably trying to avoid you, so don’t leave a message and just hang up, ’cause nobody likes you.
Funny: ⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
F@CK OFF
Hi if you’re my parents I’m at church! If you’re my math teacher I’ll give you my homework. If you’re that scammer who stalks me F@CK OFF!
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐
Don’t Feel Like Talking
Hello, this is (a name here). If you are hearing this, I am probably here but just don’t feel like talking to you because I know you’re a scammer or telemarketer. Don’t call me again unless you want to hear such a message again and again.
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Pretending to be a Mental Hospital
Hello and thank you for calling *** Mental Hospital. If you need to reach a patient, please press 1 and then say their name. If you are delusional, please have either you or your monkey press 2, and we will connect you to Mothership. If you have short-term memory loss and you don’t know who we are or why you called, please press 3 and we will remind you. If you are dying… well that is not our problem, and we cannot do anything about it. If you want to sell us something… this number is no longer valid. Thank You for calling *** Mental Hospital and have a nice day.
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Directly Refuse
- [A name here] is not available to take your call as of right now. If you are family/friends, press 1. If you are someone looking to give me a job, press 2. If you are one of the multiple out-of-area code numbers that constantly insist upon calling me, even though you should know by now, I’m never going to answer, just press the end button.
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Hello, this is [a fake name]. Unfortunately, I can’t answer your phone right now because I know you’re a call scammer, spammer, robocaller, or telemarketer. All in all, your call isn’t wanted. Just hang up.
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Money, Money, Money
Hi. This is [your name here].
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a scam caller, don’t expect to get my money.
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
End of the Universe
Hello, you’ve reached me at the End of the Universe. Please hang up immediately because the universe will explode soon. Now count down: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Explosion!
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
Ask for Money
My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and expiration date. I’ll get back to you pending credit approval. Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number in the tone…
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
Just Indicate What You Know
Hey, I know who you are and what you’re aiming at. Now that your call has been redirected here, it means it’s been blocked by RealCall. This App works perfectly. I recommend it to you to stop all unwanted calls. Trust me.
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Pretend to be Kidnapped
Uh, hello, [a fake name] isn’t here right now. He/She’s been kidnapped! So at the beep, leave ten thousand dollars in a brown paper bag to save him/her. Or your call won’t be received.
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Make a Mess
[Use whole family crowds’ noise around as the background sound, including screaming babies and noisy pets and speak loudly] Hello, can you hear me? I’m not available now. Don’t hang up. Don’t hang up. Leave your message and I’ll reply. Can you hear me? Hello? Hello?
Funny: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
For more funny voicemail messages for call scammers, go to RealCall Blog and check out.